Wednesday, 28 March 2007
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Roots
Bear in mind as you read that I really like Ohio. Mostly because it’s where Jason is and where he is, is home. I also like the hills, the trees, the seasons. Mostly I’m content here, but...
Last weekend Alex and I went “home” for a quick weekend. The closer we came to south Georgia and the more pine trees, dogwoods, lilacs, azalea’s, and low lying swampy land we saw, deep within myself something relaxed and said “ahhh, this feels like home again”.
It was so fun to go home and have mom try to cook all my favorite foods in two days time. To see my son delight in being with his Grandpa whom he adores. To hear my sister say “I’m taking Alex home with me, go do what you want and pick him up later”....and then spending several hours re-discovering who I am when I am not being a wife or a mom or a deacon’s wife.
It was amazing to shop at my old places, to experience the southern hospitality in sales clerks who are thrilled (or at least act like it) that you choose to step into their store, to run into old coworkers who have all the time in the world to chat and catch up, to have strangers say “oh, you are Raymond’s daughter”, or “oh, since you are Marvin’s sister, I’ll just give you their discount”. Ahhh. I have a past there.
To go to church and see old friends, friends who knew me before I was Mrs. Jason, or Alex’s mommy. Friends who stayed up with me all night at slumber parties being silly, who know the strange quirks I have and I don’t have to explain them. It’s amazing to have so much to talk about when I haven’t seen them for so long and none of what we talk about has to do with our children, our schedules or really anything external, but to go right to the heart and find out how we really are. (Although Marylou very nearly left without talking to me and I’ve not yet figured out what it will take to cover that offence.
)It was nice to see new people there and they also welcomed me home. (query: does living in the south just cause you to be kind and friendly?) It was nice that my Miller sisters-in-law were so gracious about my need to just be at mom and dads this time instead of dividing time like we usually do. Truth be told, it felt like something was missing since I spent so little time with them, but time really was limited...thanks Ginny and Sonya.
In one of my very frequent phone conversations with Jason I told him that I will always be a South Georgia girl at heart, and he said, “Good!!”
Sigh. It’s nice to have all those connections, but sometimes it would hurt a whole lot less if I didn’t.
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Comments (28)
Awwww! Yeah, the roots go deep! So sorry I nearly walked out on you (and then barely got to say more than "hi".) :) So many people, so little time.
Love ya!
I know exactly how you feel about "home". There's nothing and nowhere like it....even though i'm having lots of fun getting to know new friends and having to stretch myself and get out of my comfort zone here!
I think i put this quote up on my site once, but i'll leave it here for you:
"Make new friends but keep the old, the first are silver, the other GOLD!! "
Thanks for causing my tears for the day...
ps Are you going back down for the wedding next weekend?
Your post really resonated with me. It's taken me five years to be able say, "Wow, I feel at home here now." And I am comfortable and having a good time with new friends. But not the same comfortable and easy laughter that happens spontaneously as soon as I go home or meet up with one of my old, best friends! I also know exactly what you mean about "the South" and yes, people are much friendlier there, esp strangers. VA may be considered the northern end of South but it is not Southern.
Ah, yes, where you come from is a nice place to be... you don't have to explain yourself, everyone knows, "that's just Ris." Thing is, people away from home say that too, they get to know you eventually. I'm glad you were able to go back and have a good time.
Getting back to you on your comment, I don't remember ever calling you and leaving a message. I'll have to check if I have your number because I should call you and see if you can answer some questions for me. You could call me too you know.
Why are people friendlier in the south? Maybe it's because they don't get frostbite like people in the north, or maybe it's because there isn't another Mennonite church just around the corner and they are more appreciative of anyone who's a friend, or because the churches tend to be smaller and more like a family or just because it's the culture. At any rate, it is a given!
Steve read your update before I did and he kept saying, "uh-huh...you're gonna love this...you've got to read this..." =) I did love it and agreed to the core. While going home for me means VA, I do still have that part of me that still thinks SC is the best.
I have had those times, too, when I think, "Is it worth having such great relationships if they make you feel such a sense of loss when you don't have them?" That has easily been my biggest struggle since I live here. I think that if I would not have known what it's like to be spiritually stimulated and related to on the intimate level that I have known, I would not miss it now.
One of my friends told me that after she got married she was disappointed when her husband barely celebrated her b-day. They had always celebrated in a big way at home and she wondered if maybe it was a detriment to your children to do that. I guess I hold to the belief that--to love and lose is better than to not love at all.
How to keep our hearts open and seeking and hoping while living with disappointment...that's a difficult lesson and one that has me on a journey.
Carolyn,
It was splendid to speak to you again. You make me want more than I have . . .in a good way, a very good way. My heart felt raw after talking to you at the end of north hall but, you've challenged me and I appreciate that more than I can convey.
uh about me subscribeing to ur site,my sis rhoda was on my site looking around and thinking she was on her site she subscribed to urs! sorry!!!
just want to say, "thanks for doing so well in what God has called you too." you will never know exactly how you touch lives. hugs.